Winter Solstice......

Yes....yes...

As I opened my heart and mind to the welcoming of the Winter Solstice.....our tribe, which are my Indian friends and all of us that wanna be Indian....everyone who could...... joined in some warm food and a fire...knowing that we were about sit in circle and drum out what we had carried ...through out the four seasons. This was a really an inviting solstice as there was a full moon on the night and a beautiful Lunar eclipse the night before. There were many a message that nite ..she who is the deliver of insightful wisdom spoke to each of our soul. Visions were had by all some shared them others let them lie softly on their hearts as a fresh snow.

We all spent time at the side of the drum responding to the very distant calling to step and be out of your skin and drum in ...drum out.....speaking softly to every cell in my body, centering all that was out of sorts. Thank you my brother and sistas .

I know when so many gifts are laid before my feet that Spirit has a message for us.

"When in doubt go to what is real, a tree, a brook or the river...Maybe ..really watch the setting sun."

Company of Crow......In and out of a day no matter what I am doing or who I am with I know that it is in the Company of Crow that reminds me that I am exactly where I need to be. Always talkin and in a tribe they will find me. They are funny and create some pretty frickin nice photos if you have your camera....

My Mom paints crows and sometimes on our road trips we will follow them to places that only the eye can know is right.

I think that my grandma visits via crow, I know my grampa for sure. Watchin with a story that needs to be told, hesitating for only a moment until all arrives to witness the moment when all pause to wonder long enough for the Company of Crow.

I have a friend that has Crow Medicine.......Never hesitates to let you know the truth and will even ask the tough questions. She dated a man once, she named him "dead crow". He could not notice the truth..or speak of it...good bye dead crow.

I have a very soft cashmere shall, more of a cape...Red Crow that comes in my dreams needs to be on my shoulder, the shall is very black. Red Crow has spoke. She needs to be in my painting the one that lies in my journal from the early spring...I am so glad I remembered.

I must answer the call...so she keeps calling and she must find a home on my shoulder and on my canvas...or some say I might have to eat crow.

In Carlsbad the Crow's hang out at the Phillips 66 gas station.......I love Carlsbad. Granny lives there......I was born there. So the Company of Crows, they know we I came from.

~~~~On The Edge of Summer

.......Today I sit on the edge of summer....Patiently waiting for my life to go on. It is quiet, I almost think I might have missed the parade. The fourth of July, all about independence, It is so time for mine. All of this time I though I was just as independent as I could be.

.......This morning I recieved a note from a friend to celebrate our independence. It is all an illusion in my mind. Community is so important, we all need each other more than we ever have. Time to reaquaint ouselves with each other in a healthy way....the kind of community that honors your gifts, sees value in age and life experiences, gives space and grace to our youth....Dream on my little one.

Give me the courage to sit on the edge of summer and be ready to move when the opportunity to love,live,laugh and teach presents. The garden is lovely, everyone is strong and wildly growing. Thank you for the cucumber...marigolds and the smell of fresh cut grass.

~~~~~Most graciously thank you oh winged one for the feather outside my bedroom window.

I know that I asked for a sign, I thought you were the falcon, I see now a owl, a young one.

Blessing my new beginning of the season on the edge of the canyon. I have a bead now for your feather it is my gift to Father Sky....for the gift outside my dreamtime to make it life for me.

The river has brought so much to my life...I live in an area where the river runs through many canyons. There are trails and sandy, gravelly places to hike to the river .....always people leave

their way...signs everywhere....I almost think that most want to be found out by someone...even a stranger....This part of the river is very unique, folks travel from all over the world to catcha glimpse or hear the wind blow through the cottonwoods,perhaps the scent of the juniper.

I walk into the old adobe to find the woman whose walls were full of photographs, some framed and some in cards and postcards. She had some jewelry on a rack in a niche..I could smell the smoke from the fire...She wanted me to know that her son had died sometime ago and these were his photos. I looked and could feel her missing him and each time I looked at them she came a little more alive. The pain of loss left deep lines in her face. Though peace filled each corner of her room. Life on the Pueblo is simple, to me I wanted to lie on the ground in the beautiful dirt that feels so safe and quiet. Suddenly, she begins to tell me a story of her sister who was in a bad relationship and could not leave a man that was not nice to her and her children.

As her sister, she was always hearing how she wanted to leave him but couldn't. She tried and always would return and every time the situation would not be any better. Her sister gave away her will and powers for promises and hope for some kinda love. Then one night the old woman heard a knock at the door, her sister was there with her children and not in very good shape. She put the children in the warm bed she had been sleeping in. Then sat down next to her sister like she had so many times before and got out the mirror and showed her what she had become. They both wept. Then she took her sisters hand and they journeyed out to the river, that magic river and they washed her face and the cold fresh snow run off numbed her down to the bone....she gasped. The next breath was painful but deep, her feelings surfaced and poured out of her eyes and heart. She cried a river.....everything she said and felt ran down river.

The next morning she woke up and knew what she needed to do. She could see through her eyes and once again was back on the trail of her purpose and could hear the wind in the trees,see the hawks dancing on the wind, feel the heartbeat of blessed mother earth beneath her feet and the strength of the way surrounded her, once again.

Once the story was over the kind woman looked deep and told me to go to the river and wash my face and let go of the fear, let the river take it away. I knew she knew and that she was my gift that day. I thanked her and started to cry, how did she know? I love the adobe walls,dirt floors and the river. That was the day I started to take back the pieces of myself that I gave away for some hope of some kinda love.....

I went back last year and she was gone, no one knew of her. I will never forget her. That is the way of the Pueblo.....

No Time, No things......No meets today......

It is the weekend.....there has been no time like presence...of nothing. Yes ,nothing to do. Maybe stay in my own body and feed it, rest it, walk it, rest it, heal her, love her, rest her...begin a love affair with her future. Her future began today. It is the very best thing to do nothing. I love the idea of writing and sending out the idea to be alright with each moment that we have. Trusting that the universe wraps around every cell we have and envelopes with light and love.

No things to do list. Watch the whales, feel the rain, the wind,the grass beneath my barefeet,sand between z toes,birds in the trees and open myself to love. Laughing until I cry.....crying till I am empty. Loving empty.

I love seeing large brown tanned old people in the sun....

Kary On.....

20 April 2010....

This started on my birthday this year....I wanted to keep my friends and fam in the loop...Every morning as I have my very soulful moments with my coffee or some mornings coffee so that I might touch that soulful moment, the absolute most profound thoughts are born. This begins my day calling,texting and sending e-mails sharing with whomever the message was intended for. Sometimes it is a perfect stranger..O.K. Miss Teagan most of the times perfect strangers. You see I believe that there are no coincidences and at this point in my life I promised that I would always follow my gut if I made it through the last couple of years.

My spirit loves to go to Maui and has made it happen ...yesterday. Traveling first class with first class friends I am here for 10 days. Booked on a definite spirit lead event. The timing is perfect....the depths of my soul only knew how much I needed this.

The temperature is very balanced the air calming and the energy from the water is healing in every way. Remembering to breath as deep as I do in Yoga class...my transformation has begun.....